why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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