and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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