Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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