Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
