There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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