Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
