That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
