you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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