I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
