I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
