No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
