Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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