Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
