We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
