All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
