Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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