Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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