Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
