I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
