At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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