I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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