We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
