In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
