Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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