garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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