I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
