I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
