and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
