i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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