you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
