Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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