How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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