Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
