i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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