I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
