Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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