Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize