I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
