"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
