it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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