So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
