all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
