So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize