his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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