You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
