dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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