I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
