This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
