My sheets look like a crime scene.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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