I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize