Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize