Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
