Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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