Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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