Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I cannot find my penis.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
