good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize