I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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