I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
